The following was written to me on January 15th by my first cousin, Brecken. Her words were profound to me and I know it would be encouring for others to read what she wrote me. She has given me permission to share this which I am thankful for. A little background on Brecken is that she deals with an auto immune disease, basically each day is unpredictable on how she will feel. She lives in my hometown of Leoti, KS too. Enjoy...and post your comments below...
Hey....just wanted to send you a little note of encouragement and let you know you are not alone!!
Through the process of all the things I have gone through with my health, I am really learning how closely hormones and neurotransmitters interact within our bodies and minds.....and how low or unbalances in these things influence our bodies in major ways!! I believe we are all born with a certain chemical and hormonal make up and, so very much of that make-up, we have to accept as the way God made us (I may always struggle with not being able to handle much stress and tailor my life-style around it and your sexuality will more than likely remain the same for the rest of your life. We were both born and created this way, but I think there is still so much to be said for balancing these things to live the happiest and healthiest lives (and most importantly to accept the things we can not change!!!) So please don't feel bad for needing to take medication, natural supplements and things like that to help you stay happy and healthy!! I have to and I praise God that He is helping doctors to better understand and treat these imbalances!!!!
Also, just as I said....so much peace comes to me when I accept the way that God made me. I can't keep up with the way the world runs......my body was just not made that way and I have to live a more slow and quiet life if I want to stay happy and healthy. And you (and everyone else ...... family and friends) will more than likely need to accept that your make up is what makes you just as you are....and that is how God made you! And just like me, you will have to make life-style choices that best suit your make up.....and some of those things, many people will just never understand because they do not understand what it feels like to live in your body!!!
Your choices are so much broader and more difficult than most will ever have to make (will you marry and make your family with another man.....stay single and accept that you are gay, but not have an intimate relationship....adopt a child and be a parent).....my heart goes out to you as you make these choices for your life, James!....but I know without a doubt God will guide you every single step of the way!!! And, I just want you to know that no matter what choices you make....you ARE accepted and loved!!!! I think the one thing that I hope you know is that no matter what, God does not want you to be used or abused....that hurts anyone and you deserve so much more than that!!!! If you ever feel this way, please back away from any relationship that is making you feel this way and know that God has something so much better for you!! Life IS more difficult for you and the decisions that you have to make (and because of this, you may always be faced with more anxiety for how your decisions will be accepted by others) but you STILL deserve to find joy and happiness....and I know God has this for you!!!
I love you, James and am ALWAYS here for you....if you EVER need to talk (or just write and get your feelings out). I know that there is no way that I can possibly understand exactly what you are going through, because I have not personally experienced it, (and I know there is always such amazing support to talk to others that are going through exactly what you are), but I do understand your heart and your love for Jesus and I will always love and encourage you the very best that I can!!!
Brecken
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